Love in ink
by jennygiraffadil
Summary: She's seen them all grow up. All grow awkward. All fall in love. And all fight. But it was worth it, in the end. It always is when they smile like they've just been given the world.


**Love in ink**  
_+ I want to be your last first kiss, that you'll ever have._

_by littlelesslostboys. _

**DISCLAIMER: I wish.  
**_Remus Lupin/Sirius Black.  
_------------------------------------------------------------

She'd seen a lot in her years at Hogwarts, even if she didn't really talk about it. She would joke with the others about being disturbed at ungodly hours for midnight feasts or a wander around the castle but she didn't really mind. Mothering instinct, that's what she liked to call it, they were all her children even if they never really would be. That's why she'd just sit back and not make much of a fuss when any of them tried to sneak out. If she had half a mind she could have practically all of the school expelled, at some time or another, but instead she just shook her head hastily and had words with them in her head. She couldn't really say anything to them, she couldn't really do much, so she'd just watch them grow up from the eleven year olds fumbling with insecurity to the seventeen year olds, still insecure, but covering it up a bit better.

Gryffindor, especially, for all the courage they were said to possess, were one of the worst. She remembered James Potter's nightly wanderings, shoving the door open and storming around the castle frantically. Muttering about Lily. Usually to himself, but sometimes he had Sirius Black with him, who was another story all together. The smallest, Peter, seemed to just go along with them despite being more than happy to just sit in the dorm, wrapped up in pyjamas, eating whatever they could salvage from the house elves.

Remus, she noticed, would disappear once a month, returning looking worse for wear - and she knew. Of course she knew. She saw every pat on the back, every hug, every muddy pawprint on the spectacular stone tiles. She liked him the most.

He would sometimes sneak out after the other were sleeping, although if they found out, she knew he would never do it again. She liked to watch him saunter down the stairs, an odd piece of paper in his hands. Sometimes he'd talk to himself. "Not that way" or "We can't" mixed in with the most peculiar of noises behind the staircases.

It wasn't until their last year when she heard the muttered chatter of James's "invisibility cloak" that she really understood.

The next night she listened carefully for another set of feet hitting the floor, dragging along, but she hadn't needed to. The flustered faces of James and Peter, rushing down the hallway, said it all. Dragging back two rather abashed boys, one with a huge grin on his face and the other Sirius Black, she couldn't help but look at them knowingly.

"How long has this been going on?" James growled, but with gentle eyes, looking frantically between his friends. Peter just stood there looking out of place, as he usually did. She really did pity him. 

Remus stuttered nervously whilst Sirius growled right back.

"Longer than it took you to notice," he said, "It shouldn't matter. It's not --"

"--any of our business?" James snapped back, "Excuse me, but when we find our two best friends sneaking out to have sex -- with _my_ invisibility cloak, might I add - I think that makes it all of our business."

She saw the way Remus was slinking back into himself, trying to hide behind his own shadow as if it'd make it less real. She could tell he hated it. Oddly, she could tell Sirius hated it too. But she couldn't quite figure out if it was the shame of what they'd been doing, or the embarrassment of getting caught. The way he moved back, just barely, to take Remus's hand and squeeze it tightly, something clicked.

"I can't believe you!" Sirius hissed, "What is your problem? I thought you didn't care about stuff like this -- you said --"

"I don't care what I said," James screamed back, "It's different when it's -- two blokes in the street to your two best friends!"

"James," Remus whispered suddenly, biting his lip, "Please."

"This is different," Sirius interrupted, and she winced, "This isn't just a bit of fun. This is us. In love."

The last echoes of voice dissipated down the hall before the silence was broken, bouncing off the walls and waking them all up, as she sat there, eyes wide open, still watching. She retreated on herself slightly, the stony gaze in James Potter's eyes preparing her for the worst.

Instead, he sighed.

"I just can't believe you never told us." he muttered before yanking his cloak roughly from Sirius's arms and storming back inside the dormitory.

She witnessed the first fight that night. And, watching the way Remus crumbled into Sirius's arms after they left, probably not the last.


End file.
